Hi Gogs
Just catching up with the last few posts as have been in hospital for a few days. I'm so glad you are feeling a little bit better and not so far down that deep hole .
Keep taking those small steps and please don't worry if you have a down day -they will get less as you get better. Talk to that lovely friend and don't be afraid to be honest !!

Keep looking for the sunshine, elusive as it seems

Lots of hugs

Julie x

Gogs!!
PLEASE please don't feel ashamed or selfish or feel the need to apologise for the way you are feeling! You have so much on your plate at the moment it is not surprising you have been feeling the way you do.
Yes, we all have issues and problems - that's how we ended up here! And that's why you should feel free to be totally honest and ask for the support that you have so desperately needed to find. And I know you are not insensitive to the needs of others so please try not to feel that way. We connect to each other through these pages in a very special way so please keep on being honest and that enables us all to be honest too! We know you will not always feel this way and are here to support you for as long as it takes to get back to where you need and want to be.

Sending a BIGGER hug
Julie x

Hi everyone,

I may not be great but I am aware of a slight change in me - a positive change, and a lot of it is thanks to all of you.

Age UK phoned this morning and they are coming on Wednesday to see what they can offer in the way of help to me.
My husband is being taken to a communication group tomorrow but he's showing extreme reluctance. I hope he goes, it really
will help me by giving me a few hours to myself, but sadly he can be very stubborn and argumentative.
I've also agreed to go and have some bloods done tomorrow - still under duress though!

I'm trying to keep my mind occupied so this morning I cleared out one of the top cupboards over the wardrobes. The job was
much bigger and strenuous than I envisaged but it was a treasure trove of stuff I'd forgotten all about - a whole suitcase full
of all my art materials from years ago, drawings, paintings, brushes, boards, paints and carron dauche (spelling), the paints etc. are now pretty useless and dried up,
ice skates that belonged to me and our three little boys (they were once!).
Wonderful memories of time gone. When I stored all those items I was much younger and perfectly fit.

I keep saying thank you to you all and I really do mean it. Just being able to 'look in' and see that someone has taken the time to respond to me
is unbelievably valuable.

Love Gogs xxx

Hi Gogs,

You just keep looking in, and we`ll keep responding!!

I hope the meeting with Age Concern goes well - whenever we`ve had dealings with them they do seem to try to help. I hope your husband gets to his communication group too, so you can have those precious few hours to yourself. While you`re "on a roll," just get those bloods done! A necessary evil I say, since they have all sorts of bother to get any blood from me so my blood-letting is never straightforward.

Well done for clearing your cupboard - that`s what we should be doing here, though having spent weeks clearing Dad`s house after he died I can`t face starting here yet. I had a chuckle at you finding all that stuff though - we were the same when we did Dad`s house. He`d kept everything - school reports etc. from long ago, so my sister and I spent ages reminiscing. I have a "Captain`s Chest" on our landing, which our two little grandsons call the Treasure Chest. Jacob,( 9 ) asked to see inside it, and sat for ages enthralled at photos of his Dad, his Uncle, Nick & I , and various family members over the years. He & Ethan ( 7 tomorrow ) were particularly interested in the sporting pics. After every photo had been inspected and commented on, Jacob made a very perceptive remark : " Well, Gran, it really is a Treasure Chest, isn`t it?"

Might you be tempted to get your watercolours out? I try to write a bit each day - mainly as a kind of journal for my grandsons when they`re older, but it`s relaxing and I enjoy it.

Take care,

Kathleen x

Hi Gogs

I am glad that people are coming to speak to you and hope you get the support in place.

Please keep dipping in with how you are feeling, what you have been doing. I think you have had so much to deal with but you have put others before yourself.

Take care.

Lisa xx

Today's been a grim day - I've hit the buffers.

Went for the blood test as I promised but then felt angry - why should I do this or that just
to please all these people who are ordering my life about.

Also fed up with the pain in my neck. This has been going on since October, the disc in my back resolved really
quickly, so it can't be just stress alone or that wouldn't have gone away. Even the most recent letter from the cons. says
she is surprised I'm still having so much pain after so much intervention - WHAT THE HELL DOES THAT MEAN!!!!
Gogs

Hi Paul,

I'll try to answer your question in the same order

1) -the swollen areas are on the left side and extend up my head to the back of my ear
2) It doesn't wrap around my head
3) No pain in my left arm put I do have tingling in my fingers
4) No pain in my left elbow
5) yes, my shoulders are tender..

Gogs

Thanks Paul for your time.

Gogs

hi Gogs - how've you been today? Hope you've had a bit of relief from the pain and had a little sunshine too. xx Ailsa

Hello Gogs

You are doing a tremendous job looking after your hubby (May not seem it, but you are)!
Just thinking, can't you get some respite via dementia charity/help the aged/social services?
My grandad looked after my nan with dementia until his sudden death - he kept so much from the family, we wished he was up front and honest with the family so we could tame the helm.
My point is: do you have family members for support and respite/giving you a break?

Citizens advice: can they not point you in the direction of charity/help?

You are dealing with a lot and your health on top, please seek help for you & your hubby.

Keep smiling, you are a fantastic lady with a lovely caring heart.
Jane
XXXX